8.1 Playing For A Change

Posted: May 30, 2010 in Uncategorized

I woke up this morning and realized, “Holy shit! I didn’t set out to learn anything this week! Ah, hell, I have to learn something right now, really fast, so I can post about it.”

And then I thought, “No, wait. Just because I didn’t purposefully set out to learn something doesn’t mean that I didn’t. What did I learn?”

So I snuggled under the blanket for a while, letting the sun move across my face, listening to the kitty purr and roll near by feet. And I realized that I did learn something huge and accidental this week. I learned how to play.

Okay, so I know how to play. I always have. But I forgot. Everything get serious somewhere, though. I got older. I went through a bad patch, as they say. I kept trying to get my play mojo back and it would pop up here and there and then go away again. I broke my ankle and for three and a half weeks, my life became an existence. A day-to-day trial of what I could and couldn’t do, of rehab and stress and panic. I had some intense negotiations, arguments and discussions with loved ones of various sorts. I got doored. I got food poisoning. My life had started to take on so much bizarre trauma that I felt like I was lying. “Yeah, I broke my ankle, then I got doored on my bike, then I spent two days in a ceviche-induced bout of porcelain hugging.” Not only was it unbelievable, it was also starting to get boring. Whine, whine, whine. Moan, and groan, and pain. Stress and lack of laughter.

Enough. No more. Fuck the world and its desire to keep hammering me down into a small, miserable shape. I’m not doing it. I just utterly, Aries-ly refuse.

So I played. What did I play? I played the do-nothing game, where I let myself see what happened. A friend called to go to lunch. Rather than stress about time and energy and attention and work, I said yes. My housemates invited me to dinner. Ditto. I spent some quality time with friends on IM, Skype and in-game. I rode my bike for no purpose other than to ride my bike. I cooked my infamous lentil soup while cranking the Cowboy Junkies and singing in the kitchen. I played “Let’s take a huge, scary, jump-and-don’t look” emotional risk with someone I’m interested in. I played The Question Game with friends/housemates and laughed until I had tears in my eyes. (I also, incidentally, had a cat fart in my lap and laughed and choked until I also had tears in my eyes, but this was not really considered play and I have no desire to repeat this game. No, no.).

Play. Run. Leap. Jump. Laugh. Live. Yes.

Saying yes every day, every way, every play, s.

***

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Comments
  1. Landon says:

    Lentil soup? You’ve been holding out on us.

  2. Annette says:

    I’m glad you learned how to play again.

    By the way… just yesterday I slipped on a pair of clogs and took HALF A STEP and somehow twisted my ankle.

    I’m amazed I am still alive to be honest.

  3. I have been holding out, L! There are many things that I actually DO know how to do. 🙂

    And, omg, Annette — scary. Please, please no more of the ankle twisties!

  4. Lexi Connor says:

    What a wonderful reminder that we ALL need to play once in a while!

  5. Katherine says:

    So now whatcha up to little lady???

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